• Notes

  • All gelatinous cube facts found on Gelatinous Cube Facts are likely false, probably untrue, and, we've heard on good authority, less than factual. In truth, gelatinous cubes don't really exist, so none of these facts are facts. Just our poor attempt at humor, satire, and parody. So, there's that.

Gelatinous Cube Facts

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  1. Fact

    The Nazis were 3 weeks away from sending V-1s laden with gelatinous cubes into London when they succumbed to the Allies.

  2. Fact

    Putting the circuit breaker in the basement of your castle is a bad idea.

  3. Fact

    It's in your best interest to make your saving throw versus paralysis.

  4. Conjecture

    In a fight between a gelatinous cube and Greg the Hammer Valentine I think "the Hammer" wins. Unlike many of his opponents, the gelatinous cube would be too slow to move out of the way when the Hammer went to the top rope for the flying elbow drop.

  5. Fact

    As has long been suspected, recent data sets conclusively prove that gelatinous cubes have been targetting squash players.

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